Monday, January 2, 2017

:: Tahun Baru 2017 ::

Tahun Baru.

Usually orang kan sibuk ngan azam ah resolusi lah, macam2.

Aku? Yang 2 tahun sudah pun tak tertunai full… separuh je.. tapi aci la dari tadek langsung. It’s been a while to wrote anything about me. Banyak bebel kat FB n IG. Kinda penuh cabarah 2015/2016 ni. Hopefully 2017 I’m gonna get my confident back. So, how are u guys? Already? Doing good? Hopefully so. Hoping that this year I’m gonna be healthier and richer. Ahahhaah.

So, I graduated as a master student last Nov 2015. And pejam celik pejam celik, tetibe da setahun…. Macam.. eh? Kau? Aku blom jumpak boypren lagik. Gimana nih? Ahahhahhaha. After done with my thesis correction in April/June 2015, I got a job at MIP. N it’s been approximately 1 year and 7 months working as a programme executive there. Having happy and sad moments in those months n it’s not easy.

The most difficult part is I shrew my half of my confident level when working here n all of them in this past few months.A bit hurt, here n there but life must go on.

Thinking to writing ablog again to ease the hurt feeling coz I no longer have time to go for squash n Zumba. N hell, it’s not fun at all being an adult/mature person.

How I wish I stay being a kid n not have much worries compared to nowadays.Too much commitment, too much though to satisyfy people and too busy to look after myself.

Really hope that 2017 will bring much joys and happiness in my life. Hoping for more nieces n nephews to come this year and I was thinking to wrote a kid’s story book defining about what is town planning.

It was a good suggestion from Moji actually, one of my friends from MBC. Thinking to add the illustration by my adik, Jannah. But still, counting my confident ability to be more stable not looking down at myself tho. Gosh it’s damage me to the core. But Allah is the best planner.

May This year I’ll found my soul mate and getting married next year. Ahaahhahhahah… my sisters kinda start fussy and start being a match maker. Ahhahahha.

I’ll tell u in another post my criteria of the soul mate later on k. Till then,

Happy New Year and Happy Holiday. Thank you for still visiting this blog and know what?
2017 I cannot get out from Malaysia due to my PTPTN issue… maka, mari kita mereput kat Malaysia. Ahahahhahhahah.




Monday, December 21, 2015

b.O.r.a.K.k.o.S.o.N.g

Erm....

Thinking to re-brand my blog.

Mungkin boleh try start buat Travelog or karang short novel.

Masih banyak kena blajar.

Kadang2 idea datang curah2 tapi mood? erm...

To be a good writer, memang kena ada ciri2 tersendiri. tak boleh nak tangkap muat je.

Aku? I'm always not soo confident with my abilities.

selalunya orang lain tolong confidentkan.. LoL

Ade je, Kak Na, syidah, Sehah... tapi push diorg tak se-confident Ayahanda yang boleh buat aku tawakal n berjaya.

Believe me, Please appreciate and care for ur parents if u still own a Dad or a mum or both.

Bcoz like me? Looking at Ayahanda pic himself gonna make me cry a bucket. (T__T)

People assume, the happy lifestyle u practice, less problems u faced.

Padahal, diorg tak tahu, it's difficult sometime to hold back the tears.

Tetibe teringat my niece suggestion- LoL.. apa kata Cik Nonie g carik future hubby dlm Jodoh.com.

Maybe u gonna live happily ever after. ahhhahahahhahah..

I dun really believe in match making org atur2kan ni. kalau tak tahu takpe.. LoL

Tapi tak boleh nak riak jugak buatnya Allah bagi segebebuk sorang jatuh depan mata, mungkin aku kena heart attack nanti. ahahhahhaha

Da la kau tu jenis Allah bayar CASH!!!

heeeee


Wednesday, November 11, 2015

:: b.E.t.h.e.R.e.f.O.r.y.o.U ::

and Dear you, please be strong n know that I'll always there for u. yeahhhhh, coz we have each other. Be strong coz you still have me no matter how hurt u r when ppl treat u like that!!! Coz we r such the superpower ladies!!!

 "One Call Away"

I'm only one call away
I'll be there to save the day
Superman got nothing on me
I'm only one call away

Call me, baby, if you need a friend
I just wanna give you love
C'mon, c'mon, c'mon
Reaching out to you, so take a chance

No matter where you go
You know you're not alone

I'm only one call away
I'll be there to save the day
Superman got nothing on me
I'm only one call away

Come along with me and don't be scared
I just wanna set you free
C'mon, c'mon, c'mon
You and me can make it anywhere
For now, we can stay here for a while
Cause you know, I just wanna see you smile

No matter where you go
You know you're not alone

I'm only one call away
I'll be there to save the day
Superman got nothing on me
I'm only one call away

And when you're weak I'll be strong
I'm gonna keep holding on
Now don't you worry, it won't be long
Darling, and when you feel like hope is gone
Just run into my arms

I'm only one call away
I'll be there to save the day
Superman got nothing on me
I'm only one, I'm only one call away
I'll be there to save the day
Superman got nothing on me
I'm only one call away

I'm only one call away

:: h.U.r.T.i.n.G ::

Oh  God, bless me and my soul for crying too much today. Only able to express it by this kind of certain song with a beautiful lyric to describe the situation.

"See You Again"
(feat. Charlie Puth)

[Charlie Puth:]
It's been a long day without you, my friend
And I'll tell you all about it when I see you again
We've come a long way from where we began
Oh, I'll tell you all about it when I see you again
When I see you again
(Hey)

[Wiz Khalifa:]
Damn, who knew?
All the planes we flew
Good things we've been through
That I'll be standing right here talking to you
'Bout another path
I know we loved to hit the road and laugh
But something told me that it wouldn't last
Had to switch up
Look at things different, see the bigger picture
Those were the days
Hard work forever pays
Now I see you in a better place (see you in a better place)

Uh
How can we not talk about family when family's all that we got?
Everything I went through you were standing there by my side
And now you gon' be with me for the last ride

[Charlie Puth:]
It's been a long day without you, my friend
And I'll tell you all about it when I see you again (I see you again)
We've come a long way (yeah, we came a long way) from where we began (you know we started)
Oh, I'll tell you all about it when I see you again (let me tell you)
When I see you again

(Aah oh, aah oh
Wooooh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
Yeah

[Wiz Khalifa:]
First you both go out your way
And the vibe is feeling strong
And what's small turn to a friendship
A friendship turn to a bond
And that bond will never be broken
The love will never get lost (and the love will never get lost)
And when brotherhood come first
Then the line will never be crossed
Established it on our own
When that line had to be drawn
And that line is what we reach
So remember me when I'm gone (remember me when I'm gone)

How can we not talk about family when family's all that we got?
Everything I went through you were standing there by my side
And now you gon' be with me for the last ride

[Charlie Puth:]
So let the light guide your way, yeah
Hold every memory as you go
And every road you take, will always lead you home, home

It's been a long day without you, my friend
And I'll tell you all about it when I see you again
We've come a long way from where we began
Oh, I'll tell you all about it when I see you again
When I see you again

(Aah oh)
(Uh)
(Aah oh)
(Yeah)
(Wooooh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
(Ya, ya)
When I see you again
(Uh)
See you again
(Wooooh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
(Yeah, yeah, uh-huh)
When I see you again

Thursday, October 15, 2015

:: Today ::

Today,

marking almost a year and 4 days in masihi , Ayahanda passed away.

People used to say that i can be a good story teller. But prior to Daddy's death, it's not easy to write stuff anymore. Glad that Allah plan it best as I got work n kept me busy. Kalau tak, macam baru lepas ba passed away.... everyday crying on regret thing i have no time to tebus and guna masa Ayahanda still in this world.

I can stay patience, but i REALLY hate people tell me to be patience. It's not easy you know, until now seeing anyone older just like Dad can make me stay n stare then cried. LoL... i know, creepy right... but then, that's it. seriously serious it's not easy.

it's been almost 5 months today i started my working environment too. To be honest, I feel blessed with Allah plan. Macam dia tarik satu nikmat tapi dia bg nikmat lain, who knows kannn~~~

I have a lots to tell but i'm gonna hurt  inside to wrote. so, nanti la eh.. see u again n please take care

Saturday, September 12, 2015

:: sHakEspeAre ::

Assalamualaikum wbt...

Long time eh? LoL... sorry dear blog.. been so lost in few months tho....

Shakespeare said, Love is sweet bitter. But for me, the definition of love mean Allah's bless...

When u get hurt, u gonna seek His help...
When u so happy, u gonna thank Him a lots...

n that's describe me...

I didnt know how it feel to lost someone i love so much until Allah took 2 people from me... during I was know nothing, n back in last year when I feel most everything....

The hardship, the beautiful moments... n it hurt....like soooo dammmmnnnn much...

but u know what, He paid it back.. giving our family not only one new person.. but two. adding my collection of listed Nanny-baby sitter relationship.... LoL...

so, back to that hurt stuff....It did depressed me so much. Lost a father who is ur everything is not an easy situation. That's not included all isu2 berbangkit of family matters knock u down.

The good thing is, u have a loyal n understanding bestfriends. They r the one who somehow reduce the pain a bit.

n to miss someone who is not in this world is tough. Like u miss his advices, his kisses n hugs n the nags too... Seriously, I'm not used in the first month. Cry almost everyday... Lost, cannot be alone, sleep alone or do nothing... bcoz u tend to start crying n missing him like crazy.

crying in a sleep, during prayer, telling ppl story about him and anything related. Even seeing an old folks on street on inside TV also cause u to have a teary eyes.

but Allah is the best planner. Once u  start redha n tawakal.. He gonna ease the hurt one by one... n replacing it with anything better. Just remember that, a teacher is always quiet during a test.

Hoping for the best tho. May Allah ease this feeling...

Sunday, February 15, 2015

:: pUisi uNtuK sAhaBat seJati aYahaNda (TGNA) ::


Tidurlah sahabat sejati Ayahanda,
Perginya kalian menyisipkan kami hiba,

Tidurlah sahabat sejati Ayahanda,
Moga kalian bertemu berbual di beranda syurga,

Tidurlah sahabat sejati Ayahanda,
Kami doakan kalian bahagia di sana,

Tidurlah sahabat sejati Ayahanda,
Sesungguhnya Allah itu maha berkuasa,

Tidurlah sahabat sejati Ayahanda,
Di malam Jumaat yg penuh barakah ditangisi suara,

Tidurlah sahabat sejati Ayahanda,
Rindu kami disemat kukuh didada dada,

Tidorlah sahabat sejati Ayahanda,
Al faatihah buat Ayahanda Tok Guru dan Ayahanda terchenta.
 
 

:: pUisi unTuk AyaHanDa ::



Ayahanda,
Moga Tenang Di Sana...
Nonie redho insyaAllah sentiasa...

Ayahanda,
Moga tersenyum bahagia...
Nonie tak lagi punya penasihat dikala suka dan duka...

Ayahanda,
Moga Dicucuri rahmat olehNya...
Nonie tak lagi punya ruang utk berkongsi cerita...

Ayahanda,
Moga ditempatkan dikalangan org yg beragama...
Nonie sentiasa ingati pesanan yg bergema di telinga...

Ayahanda,
Tidurlah selamanya...
Moga kita berjumpa kelak dengan Izin-Nya.

Saturday, January 31, 2015

::tiNta hAti::

Pagi yang cantik,
Langit di hiasi jingga bersisik,

Pagi yang cantik,
Awan berkepul-kepul bak gula kapas disisip,

Pagi yang cantik,
Burung-burung berkicau bergurau mencicit,

Pagi yang cantik,
Aku sendirian di katil di bilik...

Pagi yang cantik....

Pagi sabtu yang cantik. Itu bagi aku, sebab pagi ini, Allah memberi peringatan lagi melalui mimpi. Aku selalu percaya, bila hati terdetik, maka,itu sebaiknya di ambil kira.

Pernah korang mimpi, sampai korang menangis2 dan basahlah mata sebaik korang terjaga. dan basahan itu bukan setitis dua. Tapi bercucuran padat penuh kesedihan. Ye, aku mimpi, mimpi ngeri di mana kawan2 dan adik kemalangan. Sungguh aku ditempat yang sama. Tetapi Allah memberi aku kenikmatan sihat tubuh badan, tetapi sebaliknya bagi adik aku. Lalu, datang tangisan itu dan merintihla aku disebabkan pemikiran kesuntukan masa utk berbakti kepada adik , jika benar aku kakak yang baik.

Lalu mimpi itu menyebabkan aku tiba2 terpikir, Ya Allah, take for granted sangatkan aku ni? bagaikan tidak sedar semua itu hanyalh pinjaman-Mu yang sementera? baik dr segi harta benda mahupun orang2 kesayangan.

Orang tanya, how come u still look the same and still can be happy? Dont you have a problem? Aku jawab, I dun A PROBLEM, but I do have LOTS OF PROBLEMS. pendek kata, byk sangat masalah. tapi pada aku, prinsip dipegang adalah adakah hanya disebabkan engkau mempunyai banyak masalah, engkau tunjukkan kepada dunia kesedihan hati yang melampau? It look ridiculous tho. Maka, kesedihan melampau dan kegembiraan melampau hanya dikongsi kepada Allah. disitu lahirlah perasaan bersyukur. Jujur berbicara, aku bukan seorg yang sangat warak dan baik. n I know myself to much to claimed the title. Tapi satu perkara yang aku mungkin berbeza adalah dr segi pemikiran... ye, mungkin sama dan mungkin tidak dgn org lain.

For instance, Lost someone who you love most can be such a heartbroken. Even sekarang kalau aku lalu dekat area HUSM, it's kinda a night mare thinking about the last day with Ayahanda. jika malam sebelum, tiap kali aku jaga arwah, sebelum balik aku cium tgn dan pipi dan dahi dan ucap, "nonie balik dulu, mitok maaf Ba deh, halal makan minum nonie, Ba kuat deh... Tapi malam terakhir, all I did was, pretty much the same but i left the phrase, nonie mitok maaf n the rest. I was only kissing him n said. Ba, nonie balik dulu, esok nonie maghi. n that time, Ayahandanye mimik muka still hunting me. Up until today. n it was so hurt that even thinking about it, about how I have no space anymore to say the words, make the heart felt burden. Kalau aku bukan org islam, I'll say,I'll cry until I got blind, I'll be misery until I felt like dying and most tiny thought are I'll blame the doctor because of certain reasons... Tapi, bila kita muslim, disitulah praktiknya untuk sedar, REDHA dan percaya Qada dan Qadar Allah itu sangat penting. dan Allah adalah sebaik2 Tuhan yang maha Pengasih dan Penyayang. kena berpikir, kenapa Allah uji sedemikian rupa, kenapa Allah tarik blessing seorg Ayah itu secepat itu. Maka, kau hamparkan hikmah2 disebalik kejadian. Automatik, hati akan sedikit lapang... sedikit, tidak banyak, tapi cukup. Cukup utk ajar hati utk bersyukur dan mensyukuri nikmat. Dan cukup banyak utk maintainkan taqwa pada Dia.

Berbalik kepada permulaan cerita. Hal mimpi, jika berfikir dr sudut normal. Apa yang terlintas adalah ok, mimpi ngeri adik n kawan kemalangan. that's it. Tapi pemikiran tak normal aku, aku rasa mimpi itu satu petanda bahawa aku blom cukup sayang orang tu seeloknya, sebaiknya, selayaknya dan mana2 yang sewaktu dengannya. Hal adik tu mungkin belakang kira. Tapi hal kawan2 tu seriously gv me a thought. Kenapa dalam ramai2 kawan, mereka yang muncul dlm mimpi aku, walhal mereka jauh sekali merangkap kawan2 rapat. Jadi, hati ni berkata, u hv something that not yet being said. mungkin, ko ade kutuk diorg, ngumpat diorg ko blom mintak maaf,  atau mungkin, hati ni terlampau bencikan diorg sehingga Allah hantar peringatan, ko sape nak benci2 org, nak kutuk2 org, nak judge2 org. u dun even hv the right. mereka mungkin berdosa pade kau atau sebaliknya. but that, doesnt make you r better person than them. Allah tahu. mereka mungkin buruk perangai, tapi at least, depa are better than you. Definiley aku rasa. 

piGiEbeNg nAk bAyar uTaNg piTipiTipU