Sunday, August 31, 2014

tAk bErapA naK mErdeKa rAsaNya jiWa Ni...

I' ve been ignoring this blog recently...too much word to describe but too stressful situation to put it in a happy way... so, abort the mission to write up and keep walking...since i got no fan n what's not.. ahhahahha.. so, I just like, hokey, ini blog aku, bukan malas, tapi kadang2 tak hari2 diary kita tulis kan..

Today, i think is my most stressful day of this month..ye, Merdeka kita.. tapi aku, uwaaaaaaaaaaa.... thesis final submission yakni soft bound minggu ni anto, so, yes, the stressful feeling almost reach the peak..n hari ni, hari aku rasa paling down.. macam nak buat, tapi blur, macam nak write up, tapi tangan taleh nak tekan keyboard, macam nak siapkan references and table of content, tapi otak beku, lapar, tapi malas nak turun g cafe hatta nak masak nasik pun, paham tak perasaan ni.. down weh sumpah..

mende paling aku tak suka bila aku stress adalah bila aku taleh nak solat... sebab setan tu keliling je, regardless bukak mp4 dgr org baca quran pun, tak sama ngan kita baca sendirik yang buat jiwa dan soul tenang.. paham tak? iye, boleh bercakap dengan Allah, tapi bila diri dlm keadaan kotor ni, banyak thought about bad thing dari good thing... to be honest.. feels like...

G.I.V.E U.P

Macam, aku bleh siap ke minggu ni nih, banyak lagi tak settle ni, grammar check blom, references checks blom, table of contents ke laut, TURN it In software tak run lagi, SV nye comment fully not understood, blom lagi masuk bab2 SV ko nye words yang boleh kurang makan dalam macam, Nonie, awak ni terukla, ape ni da duk uia 8 tahun, grammar macam taik, y the hell i'm signing ur form kalau kerja macam ni, u ni nak abihkan master ke tak ni n bla bla bla..

 N a problem with me.. i'm ok with anyone yang nak kritik.. i just dun duel well with words yang tikam jantung.. yang cakap tu kalau boleh semua menantang haram dalam dunia ni ko nak kaitkan ngan haku.. aku boleh, orang tegur, but bare ur words please.. I'm human, not a robot... paham tak maksud punya hati dan perasaan tu.. aku mmg ganas, gegila, bengong2, tapi tau tak, dalam hati ni jiwa ni, bukan takat ade taman, tapi aku rasa siap bleh buat ladang teh macam kat cameron highland tu tau... takpun ladang bunga ros, tak pun kebun stawberry.. tau tak? tau? tau? haish~~~~

It's not that I wanna give up because I wanna give up , i mean it's not due to the pressure. because actually the pressure is quite ok,not that harsh..but it just my mentally broke down yes, because of those words.. macam rasa aku ni bodoh piang, bodo kettok sangat ke eh? bukan degree certificate ni aku amik, tapi master degree.. paham tak level dia macam mana?

For the sake of my parents, I seriously need to finish this master degree.. get out from UIAM and find myself a good job.. pay all the study loan, saving some money n yes, traveling around... HOWEVER, right now is all the matter! dear god, please ease this stupid broke-down.. coz i dun like it when I'm in a negative state.. go go Nonie, you can do it please~Merdekakan otak kau dari belengu penjajahan thesis tak siap ni.. tolong la tolong, help, mayday mayday, Jaebal!!!

piGiEbeNg nAk bAyar uTaNg piTipiTipU