Wednesday, June 18, 2014

haPpy FaTheR's Day, aYaHanDa~~~

Erm... after a week balik dr cuti balik kampung, arini kali ke 2 call umah tepon parents. Teheeee. kalau ikutkan logik kena tepon tiap2 pagi kot tanya kabar, tapi Mak Bonda dia jenis yang cepat rimas.. ahahhaha.. pastu dia cakap kalau tepon hari2 tadek cite nak story, jadi panggilan tu macam tak sampai 3minitsetgh... LoL... padahal aku tau je dia suka cuma tadek masa nak layan sebab busy tgk2 n jaga Ayahanda.Plus, knowing her so long, Mak Bonda n Ayahanda bukan jenis orang yg tunjuk gegila depa sayang  tapi we just know kalau balik umah macam2 mknn ada or bahan2 nak masak kegemaran anak2.even abang2 aku yang kak2 ipar terer masak pun bleh kalau balik suh Mak Bonda buat Gulai Ketam, Masak Lemak Kepala Ikan Merah, Kerutuk Che Banding n macam2 lagi... chooihhhh~~~

n Ayahanda, dalam hujung tahun 2008, his healthy is seriously decrease and diagnosed with several severe diseases - 3 serangkai punya penyakit tu semua dia nak bolot..hehe.. Sakit Jantung, Darah Tinggi, Kencing Manis, dan jugak Sakit Belakang. He did undergo  2 surgeries of unclog the heart, one bypass surgery, one major backache surgery, several minor surgery n always warded since then seriously try our patient.  Family bonding jadik lagi kukuh dan kami makin rapat serta jadik lebih penyabar...Ada tahun yang kesihatan dia mmg excellent dan ada bulan2 yang dia memang hanya kat hospital sebulan dua n kadang2 just transfer from one hospital to another, from public to private hospital n from hospital to our home sweet home.

But hujung tahun lepas menghampiri awal tahun ni, after my elder brother pHd convocation, Ayahanda was admit in Hospital Serdang sbb tetibe unconscious, masa tu almost all of us was here in K.L celebrating the event. nasib baik... so he was warded 3 weeks plus here , n keep asking to go back home so, we transfer him back to HUSM. Since mid year tahun lepas mmg asyik kuar masuk wad sebab detecting plak ade minor kidney problem due to effect amik ubat2 hospital utk sakit2 yang dia ada, always got an infection, allergic to certain antibiotic and currently was diagnosed with BPH, Benign Prostate pekebenda ntah namanya, so, betambah terukla kesihatannya. It was common tho for elderly umo Ayahanda dapat prostate, which entitle him sangat payah nak kencing pastu perut jadik senak n bermacam rasa. Then he went undergo some minor surgery putting bag for the urine, yakni, kencing kuar ikut bag, not through original situation.so, everywhere he go, he need to bring along the urine bag. I dunno the term of medical study tp senang cite, kencing ikut perut rather than ikut salur kencing. N everytime the surgery being confirmed, even if he needed to do some scanning tru MRI pun, several thing need to take into consideration because of the heart problem with usually the percentage is 50 over 50 percentage or lower due to the age factor. n till today, it's been almost 1 month and 2 weeks he just laying down on bed too fatigue to stand still n walk. :(

Dearest Ayahanda,

Writing you this wishing letter to say there's no word to describe on how much I love you, Ba. Regardless during my childhood era I was too stubborn, too naughty, too much giving u a headache, You always there hugging, comforting, smiling and laughing at me when I fail some subjects n didnt pass the exam with flying colours even being called several time into discipline room. Regardless during university level I owed u toooooooo much loan and money, You always there helping and giving me the allowance and some travel expenses when I went to join study trip and even attending conferences. Regardless during the hardship studying finishing my degree, You  always there advising and nagging me to stay strong and be strong and keep the strength. Regardless during my encounter with other siblings and I was crying due to the stupid fights, You always there, joking and kidding around saying they r just having fun with adik diorang. Regardless there's time I did try your patient until u burst up n we end up not talking until u cajole me, SERIOUSLY Ba, You are the BEST, BEST BEST BEST BEST BEST father ever in this whole universe and you r always be my SUPERHERO until I die. You are always my  KiNg and my 1st Boyfriend, my protector, my adviser, my counselor and Ba, you definitely 100% my EVERYTHING!!! Even though i know that Allah bagi pinjam Ba kejap je to me,  I do hope your health condition, InsyaAllah will get better and you still there being my Wali during my future solemnization. Please be strong on tough day Ayahanda, regardless I experience days where you r no more embrassing crying in front of us becoz of the severe pain, days where you call every name of ur kids n told us u think u gonna die instantly, days where only tears spoken because u r too weak to talk, Please, please, please and jaebal Ayahanda~~~ Stay Stronger and Be Strongest!!! as become one of those thing make me follow u become the strong one too... Wishing u an awesome Fathers Day, Ba as today, the cat got my tongue n I just silently crying with you while talking to u cheerfully to hide the sadness for not being next to you. Love n Miss you so much, Ba n you r always be my INSPIRATION. ^_^. I Love you Dad, Saranghaeyo Appa, Ana Uhibbuka ya Abi, Nonie sayang Ba!!!








p/s: Belated Happy Fathers Day wishing >.<

Tuesday, June 17, 2014

:: p.E.n.D.i.N.g ::

Ommo..ommo..ommo

eh salah, Assalamualaikum warahmatullahiwabarakatuh...

kyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa~~~~ *lap lap sarang spider kat blog*

gile lama tak blogging or blog walking... sobs.. Dear my diary.. sorry der.. gua busy ngan hape pun gua tak tau.. sobs... tak bukak pun weh dalam masa almost 4 months ni.. Nonie gile.. pui~

btw, kalau taip pun, bukan ade follower pun nak tunggu n baca sebab ekau ni kekonon casual diary haku.. heh... bukan nak jadik attention seeker... LoL...so, who care kan.

so, current update...

I STILL NOT FINISH MY MASTER THESIS 



uwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa... nak terjun lombong tapi pakai safety jacket boley? uwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa lagi..sobs

siyesly mende paling aku gila bila buat thesis... Chapter 2.. Literature Review..sakit bai... plak2 bila ade sorang clicks satu master batch ni, kena review balik due to plagiarism nye pasal padahal dia quote dr author2 katanya *tak tau cite sebenar*.. takotttttt~~~ *psssttt .. padahal analysis pun cam harommmm syaitonnirrojim betul still tak tau beza anova manova kalau nak gabung factors jadik multivariate analysis kejadah macam mana hoi kenapa nak kena divide satu2 jadik anova banyak2 dr 0.05 p value dia terus kena adjust jadik 0.017? .. ok aku pengsan 2minit setgh* tapi aku pun tak sure kalau data aku tu mmg kena guna anova /manova ke tak? taleh guna pearson chi-square yang detecting statistically significant je eh? plak tu kalau da 500 respondent, mmg validity respondents kena check tru Cronbach's Alpha eh? ahhhhhh menatang jadah aku sakit kepala... sobs... almost 4 tahun aku belajar research method, baru awal tahun ritu aku paham beza nominal, ordinal, ratio n interval data.. plak tu Independent variable ngan dependent variable pun aku tertukar2... apakah? apakah? Ape nak jadik dengan dunia ni.. kenapa suruh orang bengap macam aku amik master by research.. Help! Help! Help! mayday mayday mayday okthanksbye.

tapi serius... mengalami sedikit depression symptom habaq hang... 4 5 hari tak kuar bilik kuar makan, mandi even nak kencing pun aku bleh tahan... *masa tu tgh dr cuti solat* yang mana menambahkan lagi mood emotional yang bukan sedikit sebab setan cucuk jarum berenang ikut liang2 roma masuk ke darah terus ke otak  n hati pastu depa stay situ sunbathing..gila! ye gila... campur lagi ngan kesihatan ayahanda yang kurang memuaskan plus bengang ngan hospital yg postpone follow check up ayah haku sebab mesin scan rosak la, doctor pakar tadek la, n seribu satu alasan yang buat aku rasa nak g bakar HUSM kubang kerian..perghh~~~ dua kali bai aku depress dlm 4 bulan ni nonie da gila sumpah. jadik ok skit lepas aku dapat tiket free g Sabah *gonna tell u in another Entri* n balik kampung almost 2 weeks jumpa ayahanda n mak bonda terchenta.

aku rasa without family support n sedikit iman yang tipis.. aku mungkin warga Tanjung Rambutan or Jalan Che' Hussin *nauzubillahiminzalik*

but Alhamdulillah Allah sayang aku lebey yeay~~~

Treatment dia, kalau dulu dalam bilik taip thesis pasang lagu  Michael Buble , CNBlue n lagu Zumba, chooihhh~ aku da bertukar kepada pasang bacaan Al quran 24/7 sampai lappy jammed teruk... teheeee...sort the feeling, yes n lebih ceria dan kembali bertenaga...tapi sedikit sebanyak masalah kewangan kadang2 merudum boleh tahan bai jadik perlebihkan solat dhuha mmg Allah sayang aku lebih yeahaaaaaaaaaaaa~~~~ 

n I closed this entry with several quotes that save my gloomy days. Toodles







p/s: seriously all of them suit my situations... Allah is JJang *korean word for thumbs up sign*!!! u r the best Planner ever!!! MasyaAllah... Subhanallah... Astaqfirullah





piGiEbeNg nAk bAyar uTaNg piTipiTipU